In Need of Affirmation

Call me Doubting Thomas. No, wait. That isn't quite right. Call me Ishmael. No, that isn't right either. I'm not out chasing Moby Dick although that may not be too far off the mark, actually. I'm not sure exactly what to call me. No nasty suggestions, please. If you have a literary or Biblical name that fits I'm all ears even if those ears don't belong to a young person anymore.

Anyway...

A few months ago I was offered a prestigious position and it was one that I hoped would be offered to me one day. At least, I used to hope. Then several months ago I figuratively hit an oil skid that has sent me careening somewhat wildly and recklessly through the traffic of life. In the midst of all that has happened I had begun cutting back on some of my extracurricular activities. Time has been at a premium. But the call came recently.

I was so tempted to say yes...

But somehow, I just knew that God wanted me to say no. I argued. Yes, Mom and Dad, if you're reading this, it is true that I still argue with my parents, even if it is with my Supreme Heavenly Father. Now maybe you won't take it personally that I was so argumentative during my growing-up years.

So I said no...

But I also doubted whether I'd made the right decision. Or I thought maybe I'd made the right decision for the wrong reason. I won't lie to you. There had been things that were driving me crazy about this extracurricular activity, but I wouldn't want to be guilty of declining because I am in the midst of a temper tantrum. Yes, Mom and Dad. I've been known to throw a few of those during my adult years, too.

A few weeks ago we started a Bible study written by Priscilla Shirer called "Discerning the Voice of God" and things started making sense to me. I became convinced that it really is God's voice that I am following. It isn't that the thing I desire is bad. It is actually a good thing. It is just that I feel that God is telling me that I can have something better if I don't tie up all my time with this good thing. So now I'm waiting to see what that better thing is. Maybe it isn't anything more than I'm already doing. I guess I won't know until God reveals that to me.

Today I participated in my extracurricular activity and the person who will be doing the job that I was offered was introduced to us. I was very pleased. And I had real peace about my decision.

Let me tell you, with some of the arguing and second-guessing that came after I made my decision to decline the position myself it is nice to be able to say that.