Tongue-in-Cheek Rules for Dealing with Anger

*Note
The following points are not aimed at anyone in particular so please don't take this personally. Case in point: #2 below. I don't even have a daughter-in-law! And my mother-in-law and I get along just fine, in case you're wondering.

Someone once said that the dog that yelps is the one being hit by the rock thrown in the dark. If you find yourself yelping, do it quietly because I'm neither aiming my shots nor listening for the cries of the injured. Even Pastor Dad is exempt from attack, although it is his fault for encouraging my quirkiness.


I'm not your mother - or in a few instances (four, to be exact) - maybe I am. Either way, these are some rules you should follow when angry. Your mother would approve, I'm sure.

I'm not your wife either, although I'm certain there are days when Pastor Dad would gladly lend me to you just so you could personally bask in my words of wisdom while I unceasingly extol them. Well, here's the best of both worlds! I can share my opinions and Pastor Dad doesn't need to listen read if he chooses not to do so! We all win!!!! :)

1. If you are a married woman who is mad at her husband, do not call your mother complaining about said husband. Most likely, she already has to deal with your father and doesn't need to listen to your diatribe entitled Male Misbehavior. She could probably launch into one of her own. And that two-way conversation might take more time than you've allotted for the call.
2. If you are a married man who is mad at his wife, do not call your mother complaining about your wife. Your mom is already having a hard enough time liking this female interloper without you giving her more reasons why she shouldn't.
3. If you are a blogger angry with one of your readers, by all means write that piece! There now! Feel better? Now hit the "delete" instead of the "publish" button. Trust me. You still got to put your fiery missive into words and since you're the only one who really wants to read it, everyone is happy!
4. If you are a social media aficionado angry with, oh, I don't know, anyone, anywhere, do not delete your blog, Facebook page, Twitter account, or email contact list. This maneuver will not achieve the desired effect of hurting your victim. Ever heard the one about cutting off the nose to spite the face? Same principle.
5. If you are a "Christian" social media aficionado who uses profanity or inflammatory words to flame, spam, or stalk someone with whom you are angry don't be surprised when several people block, "unfriend," unfollow, or just plain ignore you and take your enemy's side without actually hearing that person's version. The Biblical way to solve a dispute is to go to the person who offended you and handle the situation privately. Then take it to witnesses, and then the elders of your church if the problem remains unresolved. Anything short of this is unchristian. See Ephesians 4:26a for help: "Be ye angry, and sin not: . . ." and Matthew 18:15-17.
6. If you are SOMEONE who EVER gets angry (that should cover almost 100% of us) you might need to get up earlier in the morning or wait until spring or summer when the days are longer and Daylight Savings Time has taken effect in order to meet the Biblical standard of Ephesians 4:26b-27, " . . . let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil." Or you could just choose not to hold a grudge quite so long. I'm just saying.
7. If you are an adult who insists upon throwing angry temper tantrums, no one is going to take you seriously. In fact, most people will consider such a person to still be a child, even if the fit-thrower has recently celebrated an "Over the Hill" birthday (not to be confused with those of us who celebrate "On A High Hill" birthdays, which could be one-in-the-same at certain times.) :) I Corinthians 13:11 says, "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things." Some people need to grow up as they grow old.

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report: if the be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8

Called to be Firecrackers?

This is an adaptation of a devotion that I gave several years ago when speaking at a conference to several pastors' wives. Recent celebrations brought it to memory again.

It is illegal for individuals to set off firecrackers for personal use in Ohio. Even so, it does not seem to be a law that is followed or enforced with any regularity. Other states do not have laws banning the purchase and use of fireworks at home. When we lived in Tennessee, Pastor Dad usually set off a selection of small pyrotechnic devises each Fourth of July for the enjoyment of our children.

One holiday I was sitting on the porch watching the display and the Lord brought Matthew 5:14-16 to mind. One of the phrases serves as my blog verse and it is probably already a familiar one to you.

14 Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.
15 Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.
16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

As Christians, we are the light to the world. I began to think how sometimes my light is more like that which comes from a firecracker than a candle. My spirituality may have a lot of force behind it as I delude myself into thinking I'm "in the Spirit" but after awhile it becomes apparent that the result might be momentarily beautiful but illumination is not going to be maintained. Quickly the light will fizzle to the point that no one will be able to even see it, let alone be led to God by it.

But wouldn't it be nice to be a lighting devise that can accomplish powerful things for the Lord? Perhaps. However, putting on a spectacular show prior to a quick burn out is not what the Lord had in mind. Just because a lighting device has a wick – or fuse – doesn't mean that it is one in which to place confidence during a dark storm. Remember the following:

• In order for a light to lead others it needs to be consistent and faithful. God expects us to shine until the job is done.
  
• The objective is not to glorify self but to glorify God. The candle might never be admired in and of itself but if it points the way to The Way it has fulfilled its purpose. A firecracker expects to be the whole show.
  

As a homeschooling mother I have a tendency to "blow my top" before my family thereby extinguishing the light of my testimony. Having a short fuse does not help anyone see Christ in me. The verse says that the illumination is supposed to be for the benefit of all who are in the house. Ouch!

Maybe temper isn't your firecracker problem. Perhaps you are the kind of Christian who shines brightly on Sunday when you're at church but shows no discernable light the rest of the week. About the only way anyone would know you are a Christian is if they happened to see you sitting in the pew. Then the analogy to the firecracker for you is that your light only appears before an audience. Your fuse is lit for a temporary Sunday performance. There is no consistent light shining in your life throughout the rest of the week.

There are probably many analogies to illustrate how our testimony can more closely resemble a firecracker than a candle. Repentance always needs to be the result when we allow our light to be hidden.

Let's resolve not to be firecrackers that put on a good show for a short time, make a lot of noise in the process, but ultimately leave a lot of smoke to hinder progress as we quickly burn out. The world needs reliable candlelight in dark times.