Blind Love and Blessings: Perfect Vision

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When last we met I revealed a few of the problems I have encountered as a pastor's wife suffering from a disfiguring illness. I know that most of my readers are concerned that I exaggerated at best or lied at worst, but fortunately, or unfortunately depending on your perspective, I could produce several witnesses since onlookers were necessary for the desired maximum effect. I hope that won't be necessary.

Let me also reassure you about another possible concern. There is no need for any friend or reader to respond like the disciples did at the Last Supper when Jesus revealed that one of them would betray Him. No, you are not one of the offenders. Most likely, you are the exact opposite, one of the people in whom I find great comfort.

For every person whose motive was malicious there were (and still are) many people who bless(ed) me with ointment for my hurting soul: those who held me as I cried, helped me rearrange or artificially replace my hair, empathized with me (there are many besides myself that suffer similar symptoms), and privately counseled me. These include hair dressers, cancer patients, other alopecia sufferers, medical professionals, other pastors' wives, and fellow church members. My support network far outnumbers the bullies.

Why do I share with you my journey? Not out of a sense of bravado! I would not tell any of this unless I was convinced that the Lord wants to use it for His glory and my good because the telling of it is not the catharsis that I might wish it to be. I don't exactly know how the glory and growth will be accomplished, and I may never know until I reach Heaven, but the Bible makes it clear that I do not think like God.

8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. 9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. 10 For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: 11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it. Isaiah 55:8-11 (KJV)

It is only because I do believe that God will eventually make all things work together for his glory and my good (Romans 8:28) that I swallow my fear of the ungodly and trust God's perfect love for me.

18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18 (KJV)

I also do not tell this story in order to retaliate, as one might assume, although I do offer it as a warning. Even Paul experienced mistreatment at the hands of church members. In my case, since I obviously am not up to the caliber of the apostle, my story reminds me that I am also a great sinner who has hurt others at times. The conviction of my own wickedness grieves me more than being the recipient of another's wickedness.

3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? 4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? 5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye. Matt 7:3-5 (KJV)
 

It isn't enough that my God, family, and friends have developed blind love for me. I need to develop blind love for others. Everyone has a situation in their life that causes hurt. Often the cause is not immediately evident as we become more sophisticated at hiding behind the facade we present to the world. Sometimes it takes time to peel back the layers but when we are successful we should treat each situation with love.

In the future I hope to share with you some of the ways that God has allowed me to minister to others. I always rejoice when God uses my infirmity to help someone cope with their own situation. It is those circumstances that God uses to develop in me more perfect vision.

The steps are there in scripture! First, remove the obstruction of sin from my own eyes so that I can see more clearly to help someone else and then seek out the hurting and love them blindly through eyes of faith.