Tongue-in-Cheek Rules for Dealing with Anger

*Note
The following points are not aimed at anyone in particular so please don't take this personally. Case in point: #2 below. I don't even have a daughter-in-law! And my mother-in-law and I get along just fine, in case you're wondering.

Someone once said that the dog that yelps is the one being hit by the rock thrown in the dark. If you find yourself yelping, do it quietly because I'm neither aiming my shots nor listening for the cries of the injured. Even Pastor Dad is exempt from attack, although it is his fault for encouraging my quirkiness.


I'm not your mother - or in a few instances (four, to be exact) - maybe I am. Either way, these are some rules you should follow when angry. Your mother would approve, I'm sure.

I'm not your wife either, although I'm certain there are days when Pastor Dad would gladly lend me to you just so you could personally bask in my words of wisdom while I unceasingly extol them. Well, here's the best of both worlds! I can share my opinions and Pastor Dad doesn't need to listen read if he chooses not to do so! We all win!!!! :)

1. If you are a married woman who is mad at her husband, do not call your mother complaining about said husband. Most likely, she already has to deal with your father and doesn't need to listen to your diatribe entitled Male Misbehavior. She could probably launch into one of her own. And that two-way conversation might take more time than you've allotted for the call.
2. If you are a married man who is mad at his wife, do not call your mother complaining about your wife. Your mom is already having a hard enough time liking this female interloper without you giving her more reasons why she shouldn't.
3. If you are a blogger angry with one of your readers, by all means write that piece! There now! Feel better? Now hit the "delete" instead of the "publish" button. Trust me. You still got to put your fiery missive into words and since you're the only one who really wants to read it, everyone is happy!
4. If you are a social media aficionado angry with, oh, I don't know, anyone, anywhere, do not delete your blog, Facebook page, Twitter account, or email contact list. This maneuver will not achieve the desired effect of hurting your victim. Ever heard the one about cutting off the nose to spite the face? Same principle.
5. If you are a "Christian" social media aficionado who uses profanity or inflammatory words to flame, spam, or stalk someone with whom you are angry don't be surprised when several people block, "unfriend," unfollow, or just plain ignore you and take your enemy's side without actually hearing that person's version. The Biblical way to solve a dispute is to go to the person who offended you and handle the situation privately. Then take it to witnesses, and then the elders of your church if the problem remains unresolved. Anything short of this is unchristian. See Ephesians 4:26a for help: "Be ye angry, and sin not: . . ." and Matthew 18:15-17.
6. If you are SOMEONE who EVER gets angry (that should cover almost 100% of us) you might need to get up earlier in the morning or wait until spring or summer when the days are longer and Daylight Savings Time has taken effect in order to meet the Biblical standard of Ephesians 4:26b-27, " . . . let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil." Or you could just choose not to hold a grudge quite so long. I'm just saying.
7. If you are an adult who insists upon throwing angry temper tantrums, no one is going to take you seriously. In fact, most people will consider such a person to still be a child, even if the fit-thrower has recently celebrated an "Over the Hill" birthday (not to be confused with those of us who celebrate "On A High Hill" birthdays, which could be one-in-the-same at certain times.) :) I Corinthians 13:11 says, "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things." Some people need to grow up as they grow old.

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report: if the be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8