My "Change of Life" and no, it isn't what you think

The Bear and Pepper: All Smiles!

Last night after church one of the Sunday school classes had an activity and invited us along. We usually attend their activities although some people tend to equate this class with a young married couples class. If you have married children in the class it is a sure sign you are no longer a young married couple yourself, if you see what I mean. But one look around assured me that we fit in. The Bear's friends attend these events with their parents also. Those parents can't be too young married either if they have kids the Bear's age and older.

The fellowship last night took place at a Subway restaurant. As we stood in line waiting to order, Karen asked me if the Bear could eat a footlong since he'd made it quite clear that that was what he was ordering. I thought she was joking! Can the Bear eat a footlong? Yes, and probably my 6 inch as an appetizer if I'd let him!

Then it dawned on me that she hasn't lived with us in over 9 years. The Bear and his eating habits have changed a lot in that period of time. She has seen him eat recently, obviously, but anyone who doesn't live with him doesn't get the full "Bear" experience. As a matter of fact, a lot has changed around our house in recent years that my daughters might not believe.

It used to be a girls' world at our house. No talk of feminine equality here. No sirree! We had the men of the house outnumbered 2-to-1! Now that the girls are all married I am the lone female except for Pepper, the dog, and she doesn't count because she tends to side with the men against me anyway. Therefore, I am in unfamiliar territory. I had a taste of it two years ago when the Princess attended an out-of-town college, but she was home often enough for me not to feel the full effects.

I have not been out-numbered like this since, oh, EVER. I am an only child, so I was used to this female-to-male ratio even before I married and began procreating. I thought it the most natural thing in the world! Pastor Dad and I started out with equal numbers (one man married to one woman for one lifetime as it is supposed to be) but within a few years we(?) had worked hard (who went through labor?) to change that ratio in my favor at 2-to-1.

This explains the knowing looks I've seen pass between my dad and my husband. I just thought all males' faces came with that persecuted look. (Note to Prince Charming: I've seen the same look on your face, but don't give up! He who laughs last laughs best . . . or so I've heard.)

So in the time that I've seen the house change from being predominantly female to that of being predominantly male, what have I learned? Ah! Here is part of my unscientific list:

1. Men will watch ANY sporting event even if their own favorite teams are not part of the current game. Think: Philadelphia Phillies, Tampa Bay Rays and 2008 World Series. Last time I checked, neither of these teams was from anywhere around here or on anyone's Favorite Teams List!
2. Whereas "15 Minute Pick-up" used to mean young ladies racing around the house putting things away before the buzzer sounded now it means one middle-aged lady doing the same while one young man stealthily disappears. (I still do the buzzer as per my brief stint with "Flylady," bless her heart!)
3. Whereas I have always had a houseful of my own children and their friends under foot (I like having my offspring where I can keep an eye on them) several exuberant, squeaky-pitched calls of "Hi Mrs. Pitman!" when I enter the room have now been traded for deeper-throated yells of "Yo, Mom!" and "Hey Mrs. P!" Actually, there are still a few squeaky-pitched voices in the crowd as Bear and Friends are in their early teen years, but that should probably be another number entirely. And yes, some of the Friends call me "Mom."
4. One son can eat as much as three daughters.

5. One 12-to-13-year-old boy can grow fast enough in one spring and summer that his winter jeans will become shorts without anyone taking a pair of scissors to them! My paternal grandma told me this was possible but I just didn't believe her until this year.

6. 2 boxes of Fruit Roll-ups and 2 cartons of Capri-Suns can disappear in one afternoon with little or no help from the neighborhood kids!!!!!
7. Wrappers and cartons of same will remain on floors and tables until the next-scheduled "15 Minute Pick-up."

8. When grocery shopping, only buy enough food to last one day because whatever is bought will only last one day anyway.
9. Airgun pellets being sucked up in the vaccuum make the same annoying noise as Barbie shoes taking the same trip.
10. Tears and hurt feelings have been exchanged for, well, nothing. I didn't say all the changes were bad.
11. Endless giggles and chatter have been exchanged for . . . mostly silence. Again, not all bad, but not all good either. I fear this can only get worse as time goes by, though.

12. Waves and smiles of acknowledgement have been traded for eyebrow raises, almost inperceptible nods, and slight pinky-finger waves as I enter the venue where the Bear is either participating in basketball or taekwondo.

So y'all pray for me as I make the transition into an all-male world! I know a few of you out there who can probably sympathize.